today i...

washed some more newborn clothes, i'm determined to pack a few looks for you to come home in, little L. why limit you. i hate being limited.

i also scheduled a consultation with your future pediatrician, Anne Lewis, for this wednesday morning, they called me after office hours and spent 20 minutes talking to me on the phone about you already, so i have a good feeling so far about this office.

i also hammered out the 1st several pages of your baby book. i have it downstairs now so it will definitely make it to the hospital with us and get your little foot prints stamped in it. this thought brings me much delight...

i miss writing 'we created a monster' immensely and promise to return to it.

life has simply been too chaotic in the last month or so.

i will be 40 weeks this saturday IF little L doesn't decide to do something (like make an exit, for example) prior. i have this feeling he's in no hurry. he knows i've been seriously stressed and need a bit of R&R to store up the strength i'm going to need to help him debut AND adjust to having him out here on the outside. stay tuned... i do have so much to catch you up on. i have a few posts in the wing.

in the mean time, wish me luck.

i beg.

beat beat beat

at approx. 150 bpm, you can definitely dance to it. that's little L's heartbeat. #LOVE

p.s. having attended breast feeding and infant CPR classes this week, i'm brimming with stuff to tell you but just haven't found the time. stay tuned...

37 WEEKS.
holy scared to death.

can't begin to fathom that less than a month from now i might be meeting my little mover and shaker.
i do so wish a stork would just deliver him by air.
but nothing worthwhile is easy in this life.
nothing.
we have to FIGHT for those we love.
for what we love.
i ask, if you're a praying person, to pray for my mom. i ask that if you have amazing energy, send it her way. i ask that if you believe in the power of positive thought, think such thoughts in her honor.
i want more than anything under the sun for her to meet and get to know her grandson... the infamous baby L.

in preparation...

a girl needs darling little comforts in her arsenal in effort to offset

all the sterility and discomfort.

yep, this sweet little ruffle-trim velour number is coming with me to the hospital.

perhaps i'm crazy, thinking of fashionable things when i think labor & delivery.

but it comes natural.

and looking good makes us all feel a little better.

(yes, i'm in denial.)

that is all.

GET A GOOD LOOK NOW
Because it's all beautifully organized thanks to a weekend with my Tampa BFF, Steph who's a major virgo (she claims this explains her stellar organizational skills). Something tells me that upon Liam's arrival it won't look like this anymore. Heck. Before Liam's arrival, even. The German & I are organizationally flawed. Anyway, we washed and dried a thousand little things. Things we both were a bit perplexed by. (What is this for? How is this different from that?) Things I found so adorable and wondered what they'd look like post-spit up and projectile poop. We stocked up the fun little Ikea shelf above the diaper changing table with all the little "goodies" I was told I couldn't live with out. Moms out there, please take extra time staring at that photo and let me know if you see it's missing anything vital.
We made sure we sought out saline solution, even though we both had no idea what orifice it was to go in (I think I do now, though—up the nose? Salt water!? Ouch!)
It's going to be so weird, a few months from now, when all of this is second nature. When the mystery shrouding babies and parenthood goes away... Can you believe I have little toy cars in my house? I can't. The shades... well, that's another story. L needs A LOT MORE of those to keep up with his mommy in sunny South Florida!

hello 36 weeks.
i see you.
i'm scared of you.
you are screwing with my little bony feet.
(not looking so bony, more balloony, GROSS)
and holy hell are you wrecking continuous havoc on my hands too! the usually simple act of just brushing my teeth hurts my hands, heck it sends pain up through my wrist too. seriously. WTH.
(read about it, temporary carpel tunnel, no joke.)
otherwise, the fear stems from the fact that, well, i'm about to have a kid. i confessed to my hair stylist last night that it's quite possible i still don't believe it. and i damn sure can't picture it.
or, picture HIM rather. little L.
boat loads of WOW...