Tuesday, February 22, 2011

No Rhyme. No Reason.
should you ever find yourself in my situation for the very 1st time (just like me) know this. you can read all the books and websites you want. and they can tell you that you're going to feel this, notice this, experience that, but truth is, you, lucky you! are a totally unique individual & can likely throw out the bloody window A LOT of what they say.

i breezed through the 1st trimester like a rockstar. in fact, it was so easy i doubted i was even pregnant the entire time. was told i'd be sooooooo tired. was warned about morning sickness etc. but wasn't afflicted with either.

2nd semester rolls around and i am feeling GROSS. not glowy and sexy and amazing like all the magazines say. GROSS. 1st semester was a cake walk in comparison. don't get me wrong, i'm not entirely miserable but i just want to point out that for me personally, 2nd semester isn't so lovely. isn't the honeymoon phase. so shove it, books, sites & mags.

and those of you around me, it would be in your best interest to not tell me how i should be feeling right now according to what you've read. you're not me. you have no idea. love you.

i am little miss regular no longer. i joked the other night that i could eat an old piece of meat off the street in India and refrain from the expected explosion most would experience shortly thereafter. on the contrary, i can have like three sips of water & be in the most dire need of a WC. last night for example, i hit the loo FOUR times between midnight and 7AM. that is RIDICULOUSLY annoying. guess who's grouchy today as a result. look out.

each day i find i can wear less and less of my wardrobe. thank GOD i'm a fashion hoarder & can rummage around a bit & eventually find something that 1. still fits and 2. doesn't make me hate myself too much. I'M VAIN. i know this now. i'm throwing it all out there on the table, OK? this is doing a number on my psyche.
thank the LORD for Hue. The tights brand that has developed jean leggings and cargo leggings with comfort flat elastic waistbands (that don't cost more than $40). thus far i've stocked up on 3 pairs. only -I- know how very lame they look at the waist. i got mine at nordstrom. but they're available online if you click on "Hue" above. am wearing them to the left.

anyway, the thing that's driving me the absolute most nuts about this whole adventure is my how crazy/ fragile/volatile/emotional/quick to anger/intolerant/sad/lonely/grouchy/moody/neglected/toxic i feel. seriously. this can go away at anytime. i'm so ready to be a rational amount of the things above, and not all of them at once, all the time.

p.s. 6 more days until the big L reveal. hopefully. or i'm going to throw a fit.

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