Tuesday, March 1, 2011

i whimpered on end yesterday after my dr. appointment. i didn't see that coming. and by that, i mean L being a boy OR my reaction to L being a boy. trust, i've got nothing against boys but apparently my heart truly fully wanted and believed L was a girl. so, instead of shopping for frilly, glittery baby attire all day, i went home and cried. and cried. i think it really comes down to wanting a little mini-me to
to plan fairy parties for, to play dress up with, to crown with sparkling tiaras & fluffy tutus, to SHOP FOR. shopping for boys = NOT SO FUN. and what will HE want to play with? there are so many "boy" things i dislike so very much, i.e. toy GUNS and football. and i don't adore the idea of being peed upon on the regular either. so. WOW, yeah. i'm adjusting. and dreaming up new visions for this little being with long legs and active, flailing arms. the ultrasound tech did say to tell HIM thank you for cooperating so nicely yesterday for all his measurements. and i keep thinking he can be a sweet little sensitive boy that loves music like i do. and i'd be thrilled if he wanted to play soccer/futbol as that's one of the only sports i can bear to spectate. and i'll bust my ass finding him cool things to wear. it's a challenge i'm up to. so i went to my happy place (target) & got little Liam an ACDC onesie (definitely more for his father, not my cup of tea) and a Paul Frank tee. for the next several days or even weeks & months i'm going to avoid looking at flash sales that involve girl's baby clothes. it just pisses me off. and, i'll continue to dream about what Liam will be like, what he'll be into, what he'll teach me...
me @ 19 weeks.

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