we created a monster

today, when he cries, so do i.

it's been that kind of monday. well actually, it's not monday's fault at all. so that's not fair. it's the massive void that keeps creeping up on me when i so want my mom's advice, her hug, her help. the sensation can only be described as the utmost sense of being alone. orphaned. left to fend for one's self. this sounds like an exaggeration but it isn't.

liam's been a little more fussy this past week than usual. crying more, crying HARD. & i've been feeling it. that whole sense of failure and frustration i think all new moms feel when they've done their very best to meet all of beloved baby's needs but none of it's working. grrr.

i think most of us reach out for our own moms in such cases. for her soothing words and sound advice. i would take such solace in my mom taking this crying baby into her arms and making things better like she did with me way back when. but, that's an impossible wish and that hurts.

on the flip side, when liam does amazingly brilliant things, i so want to share that with her too, but so sadly, no can do. and that's happening daily with this cute little monster. mom, i miss you so very much.

on such a lighter note, thank you olga, for this utterly perfect onesie. so appropriate for today. and well, always. it's by carter's, in case you were curious.