Tuesday, May 10, 2011

am having a devil of a time connecting the chubby cheeked, full lipped little being in the photos and witnessed during the actual live action experience i had last thursday with the jarring kicks and punches and rolling sensations coming from within me on a regular basis.
last night i took a few moments to just stare at those strangely hued photos and i actually felt my arms go numb. a connection was beginning to form. i was starting to really connect it all. i was on the verge of tearing up. of really seeing little liam inside me, growing. but today, am back at square one. WHY?
what's my damage?
i freaking LOVE ultrasounds, but am wondering if i'm STILL seeing them as television. not processing that they are a window into my uterus.
it's kind of thrilling every time he makes a scene inside me the second i get horizontal, but again, am not connecting his little face with this.
do i make sense?
is it really going to take baby L being born for me to GET THIS?
man, i'm dense. i'm a newbie. i have issues with believing what i can't tangibly see.


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