You Have 15 minutes MAX to Drink This - All 10 lemony limey ounces? Only 15 minutes? Am a chugger for Godsake, I'll down it in 15 seconds. Done. And now I wait. Its so bloody hot in my OB/Gyn's office. Am trying to focus on writing fall headlines for work but I feel like I'm in a sauna. And L is getting his groove on in my stomach to When Doves Cry #nowplaying in this humid hell. Not complaining, probably my fave Prince song. But I digress.
Next up its pee in a cup time, for a girl that hits the loo on the half hour at minimum, sudden stage fright happens when i'm forced to go in a cup i've just written my name on. but i get it done.
then, the dreaded scale. Oh awesome, I think I now weigh more than I ever have. The walls are thin and I overhear the patient in the room next to mine exclaim "I'm gaining weight like ridiculous!" I hear you, lovey, ha, no, I really do and I feel your pain perhaps too much. to make matters even more fun, the dr. then measures the growth of my stomach.
Back in the boiler room, err, waiting room, michael jackson's playing. L's jumping and rolling about to the music (Don't stop 'til you get enough). Or the sugar, rather. Am now awaiting the absolute pleasure of giving up three vials of blood & a fun 'you have the wrong blood type' injection. YAY!
when did i become such a sissy? tattoos, piercings, i never flinched. but that shot hurt like a b!@#$. this doesn't bode well for what's going down in a couple months. i need to toughen up. fast.
i get the HECK out of there the second i can, and with my proverbial tail between my legs, bolt to starbucks. this little girl needs a post-doctor-visit-with-shots-and-bloodwork treat. girl at starbucks drive-thru sees my double-band aided arm and frowns. i milk it a bit. then drive away with my chai. one appointment down, one more to go late this afternoon.
back to writing headlines...